Not even gonna lie I really just want to end it already but I know I couldn’t allow myself to do that. I feel like my brain is a bitchy 13 year old pleading “but mom I wanna”. I have too much going on in my life to just end it, there’s still a lot I wanna do, but holy shit I can’t get this person off my mind and it’s literally eating me alive and I can’t be drunk or high every minute of every day to escape it.